Saturday, June 20

Twin Fears

I couldn't be more excited for these two girls to get here and officially join our little family. It will be a huge adjustment but I know we'll be able to handle it. 

But not gonna lie, Momma has some fears!! 

1. Double Whammy Birth
I've talked to a few people who think I'm crazy for not going ahead and scheduling a c-section.  I mean, who really wants to physically push two babies out??  Well, I'm one of those people who actually enjoyed my labor and delivery with Jamison and I want to be able to experience that again with the girls.  But, what if I'm able to push one out, but then the other has to be a c-section?  I know all recoveries are different but to have to go through that in two ways; that's not anything I'm looking forward to while trying to take care of two newborns and a toddler. J will be amazing through it all I know, but this is definitely something that keeps me up at night.  If for any reason I have to have a c-section for both, I'm definitely okay with though. 

2. Nursing
I didn't have great success with nursing Jamison. And honestly, I didn't try that hard to make it work.  I won't go into too much detail, but we went to formula at 4 weeks and never looked back. Momma was a lot happier.  I really really want to be successful this time around. My biggest reason being financial. Formula for two will be expensive.  I just have to remember to keep an open mind and try try try. Because if I let my anxieties get in the way about it, it will not be successful and we'll go bankrupt because of formula!  Not really, but you know what I mean :)

3. Sleep
Jamison was easy. Besides the reflux, he was a very well adjusted baby when we got him on a schedule (thanks to Sweet Peas).  He slept through the night the first time at 8 1/2 weeks!  With the girls, I know that right away I want to put them in their cribs. I don't want to put them together though. But should I??  They would've been together for almost 9 months; is this totally going to mess them up??  I imagine at the hospital they'll be in separate bassinets. Those things are definitely not made for two.  I just don't know. I've heard a lot of pros and cons about crib sharing and I just don't know that I feel comfortable with it. So with that, they will probably be separate for nighttime sleep. Naps I may try together though. Second hurdle is when they wake up in the middle of the night.  I'm so afraid that one will be the colicky, can't sleep baby,  that will constantly wake the other.  Will I ever get sleep again is what is running through my mind right now.  I'm totally getting ahead of myself here, but again, this is another example of what keeps me up at night!

4. Jamison
Biggest fear. How will Jamison adjust. It makes me sad to think he may feel left out or is no longer center of our attention. I never want him to feel like that. I want him to feel that he is an essential part of raising these two babes.  We will have him help with diapering (bringing us the diapers & wipes), bath time, bottles (when started), etc.  I seriously want him involved in it all. But will he??  What if he resents the girls?  He talks so sweetly about them now - kissing them goodnight, telling them hi - what if that all changes when they're actually here. Will he lash out or be angry?  Or will he be the sweet sweet boy I know he is to his super cute little sisters??  I'm hoping for the latter.

When I asked J what his were - here is what he said:
- None

Then he changed that to:
- How are we going to pay for these twins???

Totally legit fear babe!!

At the end of the day, I know we have the support of each other, our family, and friends. We will do this, we can do this, and we're going to be some kick ass twin +1 parents!

PS - any advice from fellow twin parents is always welcome :)

1 comment :

  1. Hey Girl! Love this post, as I was in your shoes not long ago and felt the very same fears/nerves/excitement all but #4 since these were my first!

    1. Double Birth - I asked my doctor from day one about a vaginal birth! He never agreed to let me have a vaginal birth until the week of, the not knowing what would happened killed me! But I stayed true to what I wanted and I was sure my doctor knew it from the beginning. All worked out, we had no complications and when Week 36 approached we saw our doctor and found out I had dilated to 1cm and were heading in the following morning to be induced to try to push these baby girls here! My nerves were all over the place, not to mention the what ifs that could come along with trying to deliver vaginally. Laying on the cold OR table when it was time was definitely not the ideal situation, but to be ready if something went wrong was all worth it! What felt like minutes later we had 2 beautiful baby girls!

    2. Nursing, I was pumped to try to breastfeed but with two I wasn't getting my hopes up, but I wasn't going to let it stop me from trying. We tried from the get go, and it was so nice to get that connection with my little ones, we stayed steady with it, however because of blood sugar issues, and jaundice the doctor had me supplementing with formula from the second day forward until we went back for our check up, when weights were still down we had to go to feeding every 2 hours still supplementing too, talk about draining. We stuck with it and slowly could back down to every 3 hours. Naturally my girls started liking the bottle better, so I didn't stress about it and started to try and pump. Well... pumping isn't for me, just call me lazy or whatever you will but with two, its a lot. Some are super moms and can do it all, I'm all about convenience, even when it was going to increase our overall monthly expense. We use all the coupons we can find! I also made the decision to start spoon feeding as soon as they were ready and by 6mo we are now eating 3 meals a day and down to 3 bottles a day which in my opinion is easier and cheaper with two! I feel like best advice here is don't stress it will work out they way it should.

    3. Sleep, we had every intention to put our girls in their crib first night home, nope couldn't do it. They slept in the rock n play next to us for the first 2 weeks. Then to the crib they went (each in their own crib), I was determined not to have babies in my bed as well as in my room for the healthiness of my marriage. We did it! Made it through, my girls are troopers and slept for the first night all the way through at 7 weeks. Thankfully my girls don't wake each other up when they are both asleep. We have been really lucky!

    I will say, keep them on the same schedule if at all possible you will get way more sleep, things done, etc when you do. Mine wake, eat, and nap all at the same times. Yes this makes feeding more difficult but we push through it!

    My advice over all is the less stress, and worries, the better you all will be :)

    Hope this helps you!

    Please ask me anything you want to know :)